Mobilnostni Make-up

Missing you

A happy home spun by an old friend

Letter of complaint

Atlanta, Georgia, September 13, 1970

Director
Billing Department
Shell Oil Company
P.O. Box XXXX
Tulsa, Oklahoma 74102

Dear Sir:

I have been a regular customer of the Shell Oil Company for several years now, and spend approximately $40.00 per month on Shell products. Until recently, I have been completely satisfied with the quality of Shell products and with the service of Shell employees.

Included in my most recent statement from your department was a bill for $12.00 for a tire which I purchased at the Lowell I. Reels Shell station in McAdenville, N.C. I stopped at this station for gasoline and to have a timing malfunction corrected. The gasoline cost $5.15; eight new plugs cost $9.36; labor on the points $2.50. All well and good.

Earlier in the day I had a flat tire, which the attendant at the Lowell I. Reels station informed me that he was unable to fix. He suggested that I purchase a tire from him in order that I have a spare for the remainder of my journey to Atlanta. I told him that I preferred to buy tires from home station in Atlanta, but he continued to stress the risk of driving without a spare. My reluctance to trade with an unknown dealer, even a Shell dealer, did not discourage him and finally, as I was leaving, he said that out of concern for my safety (my spare was not new) and because I had made a substantial expenditure at his station, he would make me a special deal. He produced a tire ("Hits a good one. Still has the tits on it. See them tits. Hits a twenty dollar tar.") which I purchased for twelve dollars and which he installed on the front left side for sixty-five cents. Fifty miles further down the highway, I had a blowout.

Not a puncture which brought a slow, flapping flat, nor a polite ladyfinger firecracker rubberburpple rupture (pop); but a howitzer blowout, which reared the the hood of my car up into my face, a blowout, sir, which tore a flap of rubber from this "tire" large enough to make soles for both sandals of a medium sized hippie. In a twinkling, then, I was driving down Interstate 85 at sixty miles per hour on three tires and one rim with rubber clinging to it in desperate shreds and patches, an instrument with a bent, revolving, steel-then-rubber-then-steel rim, whose sound can be approximated by the simultaneous placing of a handful of gravel and a young duck into a Waring Blender.

The word "careen" does no justice whatever to the movement that the car then performed. According to the highway patrolman's report, the driver in the adjoining lane, the left hand-- who, incidentally, was attempting to pass me at the time-- ejaculated adrenelin all over the ceiling of his car. My own passengers were fused into a featureless quiver in the key of "G" in the back seat of my car. The rim was bent; the tits were gone; and you can f--k yourself with a cream cheese dildo if you entertain for one moment the delusion that I intend to pay the twelve dollars.

Sincerely yours,

/s/ T.B.T.

(from: http://www.netfunny.com/rhf/jokes/88new/8772.20.html)

Polončki doma

Po srečnem naključju so tudi pri nas doma pristali ptički polončki. Pravzaprav dva: Malteški sokol in Sonček.

Več o njunem prejšnjem domovanju si lahko preberete pri Poloni. 

 Polonček - Malteški Sokol - leti visoko nad pravljično pokrajino, kjer kraljuje pošast...

... ki ima trenutno druge skrbi (je bil to mogoče zvok viskasa v posodici? Hmm?)

Drevo, na katerem gnezdi Sonček. Krmilnica je spodaj, spalnica zgoraj.

Zelo lepo vzgojena. Obrišeta kljun in pometeta luščine za sabo. 

Hvala, Polona!

Irony

Found at: 9 Chickweed Lane, Comics.com.
Thank you, Master Brooke McEldowney!

Upanje II

.

Hang in there, sister!

.

Ko fantje vsi...

.

Chuck Norris - 'nuff said

Chuck Norris nikoli ne pogleda na uro. On odloči, koliko je ura.


Chuck Norris je uničil periodni sistem elementov. Priznava samo element presenečenja.


Ko je Krištof Kolumb prinesel koruzo v Evropo, je Chuck Norris na pomolu že prodajal kokice.

Ko so izumili mobilni telefon, je imel Chuck Norris že dva neodgovorjena klica.

Chuck Norris lahko shrani podatke na navaden ključ.


Chuck Norris je zmagal na Tour de France z orbitrekom.

Nekoč sta Chuck Norris in superman polagala roke. Poraženec mora še danes
nositi gate čez kostum.

Nekateri spijo v pižami od supermana. Superman spi v pižami od Chucka Norrisa.

Preden Chuck Norris prečka cesto, morajo avti pogledati levo in desno.

V zgodovini ni bilo nobene evolucije. Obstajajo le živali, ki jim je Chuck
Norris pustil živeti.

Chuck Norris je preštel do neskončno - dvakrat.


Chuck Norris lahko zaloputne vrtljiva vrata.

Američani so se leta 1945 odločevali: naj na Japonsko vržejo atomsko bombo,
ali naj pošljejo Chucka Norrisa? Odločili so se za bolj humano možnost.

Ko je bil Chuck Norris mulc, nikoli ni močil postelje. Postelja se je sama
poscala od strahu.


Chuck Norris ne more dobiti srčnega napada. Njegovo srce ni tako neumno, da bi ga napadlo.

Chuck Norris uporablja Mr. Muscolo kot kapljice za oči.

Chuck Norris lahko ploska z eno roko.

Chuck Norris je zgradil hišo, v kateri se je rodil.

Chuck Norris je edini, ki lahko v Tušu nabira Mercator Pike.


Chuck Norris ve, kdo je napravil Vidku srajčico.

Chuck Norris gre z avtom tako hitro, da mu garmin daje navodila v pretekliku.

Chuck Norris-ov srčni utrip se meri po Rihterjevi lestvici.

Chuck Norris surfa po radio valovih.

Zakaj je Chuck Norrisa rodila teta?
Ker mu nihče ni smel jeb** mater.

Chuck Norris lahko napiše grafit na zvočni zid!


Kaksen je Chuck Norrisov naslov gmaila?
Gmail@chucknorris.com

Bone Dreams

Man, if I could get this baby rolling, there will be no more
"See Spot, see Spot run...!"

Here's looking at you, kid!

Be my Valentine!

Talking back

True. I'd rather be sailing.

Meeting a common mind in Chamonix, FR.